Okay, this is a challenge for me to even put out such information. However, Its time to have more awareness of this type of brain tumor. It was suggested that I put this out in the social media for help. I would like to know that I am not alone. Only 1% of the adult population have had this form of brain tumor. I would like to know what others have been challenged with and their recovery in having a tumor called a Choriod Plexus Papilloma in the third ventricle located in the Foramen of Monro. Please MM and share so that I may find these amazing men or women 
I also would like to publicly THANK a merciful God, all my family and friends that have gone through my own recovery!

2016 Paralympics 

11.12.13

Sorry,I haven't been consistent in journaling.

Monday's ride was full of ahha moments, diagnosis and help. 

I am going to try to explain in a helpful way what happened and is happening to me.  

I went over the day, Monday with my counselor to help better understand what happen to me, how there may be suggestions to aid me and a diagnosis that I pray we may find a way to learn a way around it.  

When I got to the barn you had asked me how I was and I answered great.  However, what I didn't realize was that my morning had been altered from my normal routine.  I had a early morning visit with my nephew, wife and small child.  I put on a nice breakfast and visited with them until I needed to leave for lesson.  I left them in the care of David.  

When I got to the barn I was told that Ari wasn't in his normal place and was there overnight in an outside nice place with shelter.  I got concerned about was he suppose to be there and was it safe from the elements.  I was reassured that it was fine from you, Marlo.  Did you know he was there? 

I was informed that we were going to be trained out side today.  In my mind I wasn't prepared for this change.  I had visually had my lesson inside.  What I wasn't expecting was different stimuli outside, dressage test that I didn't study for, letters in the right place or couldn't see them.  Then trying to remember the way to balance myself so that Ari wouldn't go at a quicker pace that I couldn't handle transitions.  I didn't realize how over stimulated my brain was getting in this training session.  Until, I realized that I wasn't taking good breathes in and when I had a PTSD moment in Ari's stall and in break room.  

What happen in Ari's stall was incredible and credit to Ari's sound brain!  I lead Ari passed this mare next to him.  Her ears always have been pinned when I pass with him.  When I entered Ari's stall I saw that Ari went to his water but left for his supplements and grain.  I went in to his stall to see if there was water and if it was dirty, it wasn't and as soon as I turned to face Ari.  The mare next to Ari kick very hard!  It was so loud that I froze and started hyperventilating.  I was able to lean on Ari to get my composer and take 10 deep breathes.. He just stood still.  I went out of his stall and put my had on his head while I still couldn't pass this mare yet due to fear.  As I put my hand on Ari's head I continued taking deep breathes until I was ready to pass her and go into where the cross ties were.  Ari just let me do this without him moving!  I went back in to start working on cleaning tac and tears started out of nowhere.. I went into the break room and had a breakdown of sorts.  I hyperventilated again and got my breathing under control.  This took about 4 mins til I felt like I could go back in to clean tac.  Then I faced you and tears started flowing again.  It wasn't until I spoke about generally what had occurred that I was able to settle down and finish cleaning.  Thank you for explaining why the mare may have reacted.  Its not the point.  Thats okay, its how I need to continue to learn to manage and implement my reactions.  Also, to recognize over simulation of my brain.  

As I went home I thought about what happen and why.. I got some answers from Ann (counselor) about some things I have been thinking about. I showed her video of Ari and I and it confirms that I have Spacial Damage.  In her report it will address this issue. It affects space around me, memory issues and balance.  Over stimulation occurs with this issue.  

Some suggestions that Ann (knowing that she really doesn't know dressage) knowing in the passed has helped me.  Which are: What test needs to be memorized or in the process of and practiced at  home by visualizing on treadmill with music, basement walking it and printing out the test to read it then drawing it on the back.  I will show you what I did at courage reins.  It floored Rachel how well I did on that test.. Memorizing the letters in a dressage arena, glasses at shows, visualizing what to do in an arena with other horses (scenario).  Ear buds :-), resting my mind in-between shows.  We will explore this more in detail at the Symposium.  I spoke with Joyce who is over it and there will be intense evaluation involved.  I am pleased to hear.  

We are learning together and I am grateful for this process. I know that there will be someway to get around this and plow forward!  I have school shows to compete in, along with full competition and I fully intend to do my level best!  And I know you are committed to learn how you can help me perform my best.  Isn't learning a great power to have in our lives. 

I probably shouldn't have posted this however it made me with my family laugh to tears on the floor!

Do you fart in bed ? If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..”

I finished IT!

I needed to writed a paper on alittle bit about me, my challenges, goals and what the 2013 West Coast U.S. National PARA-Dressage Traing Sypmposium for a Scholarship tution.  I am so grateful for a great base that I was inspired to write and the help of my loving daughter and husband!  Here is what I submitted today!

My name is Emily Sheffield and I am an up and coming Para rider. I have always had a passion for riding horses and playing soccer.  I knew as a young girl that I was sure I would go to the Olympics in soccer or horse riding.  But as I got older I found myself in a number of difficult family and health situations that derailed my dreams. It was not until my own children were old enough for me to send them to learn horse riding that I realized my passion had only been on hold, and was not gone. It’s funny how life can come back at you like that. 

Unfortunately, my renewed passion had still not come at an ideal time. Around that time I just undergone  three major surgeries on my stomach, esophagus, and gall bladder. I wasn't healing well after my third surgery. I had a sharp Gastrointeroligist doctor that concluded that I needed a brain CT scan.  Doctors’ found a mass in my brain that was operated on.  In that surgery a seven mm tumor was in the center of the brain with hydrocephalus, which would have eventually killed me, was mostly removed. To have the surgery I had left my family, three children ages three to fifteen, to go out of state to where the specialist who performed the operation is located. I stayed a month to recover before I was able to come home. Though I did my best to educate myself and stay positive through this time of challenge, I had to take the surgery option with a leap of faith!  

 I woke up from surgery a different woman. Before surgery my leg had started to buckle regularly beneath me when I walked, but after I was walking again!  I started to rehabilitate, and continued to do better.  But the recovery process after brain surgery is long. Even three years later I was still, to a certain degree, fragile. Which is why when my family and I were in a car crash during that time that they were able to walk away from it with little to no damage; but for me it resulted in a concussion, whip lash, memory loss, dizziness, headaches, balance issues, and contusions all throughout my body.  I had been suffering major vitamin deficiencies before the accident from damages caused by the three stomach surgeries and damage from tumor mentioned before, and this too contributed to the intensity of the injuries I sustained.  Additionally, doctors found that the plate that covered the burr hole cut into my skull for the brain surgery had sunk in and the screws where coming out of my head!  I literally had a few screws loose. This led to my second brain surgery.  It was after this brain surgery that I lost 70% of my balance, had more extensive short term memory challenges, as well as lost more of my comprehension, word retrieval,  organization,  and concentration capabilities. Whether as a result of the physical damages or the mental strain I now also cope with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, slurring words, depression, and anxiety. 

These, along with the worsening of my balance, my quality of life was steadily decreasing.  I was referred to a Hearing and Balance Center. They found that while most people have a number of ways to balance themselves, I was only able to balance using visual cues.   I was incredibly encouraged that, while there was some damage that can’t be reversed, much of it was that the brain had simply forgotten how to use the equilibrium and connection to brain and feet.  This meant I had to go to work!  I got to the point in my physical therapy that I needed to try to rehabilitate from off the ground.  It was here, finally, that my early and rediscovered passions were able to begin culminating into something real. .  Horse riding was a perfect fit!  I started, and enjoyed, hypo-therapy at a facility called Courage Reins. For three and a half years I worked to rehabilitate and was able to recover about  53% of my balance! One of the therapy techniques included being taught Biomedic dressage. I loved it!   It has been a key to where I am now. Although my other struggles persist, I do have greater balance back in my life, in both senses of the word.

My current trainer suggested Paralympics because she knew my dream of going to the Olympics. I have been thrilled with the idea and both of us haven't looked back! I understand that there is a process to qualify for the Paralympics.  The work that will be required in getting to my ultimate goal is not new to me.  I am excited to be a part of this Symposium because I know that my trainer and I will be able to be taught how to better qualify me as a Para Rider, continued team work with my trainer, where I am in my skills, and what tools I need in my journey.  

I hope you will consider me as a candidate for this scholarship.  

Journey to Rio

Paralympics 2016

10-22-13

We have bumped up my riding to get ready for competition in February.  Its been fun to ride more and I am learning more.  I will get to today in a little bit.  Mondays lesson was focused on teardrops and 3 serpentines.  For example: A teardrop reverse. Okay I am having a hard time putting visual to words. Look at a tear and visually look at the letters in the Dressage Arena and there you go. :-)  I will try to put words to the serpentines.  Start from H make a loop and face the S, come to the S and loop to B then loop to A and do it the other side.. Lol I don't remember the letters.  I finally caught on in that same lesson.  It was fun.  I also was riding on the right diagonals that day too. The rhythm was good with Ari and me.  

Today's ride was totally different. Cool thing happened, I was able to remember how to do each step in putting Ari's bridle on and only had verbal instruction from a kind rider name Joan (whom I really like!) when I lost what I was supposed to do with the next step.  I did it.  Wow.. Ari was awesome.  I was grateful he didn't fight me or try to mouth me.  He was very submissive to my inadequacy.. I am doing better.  This truly is a process..  Today I had mixed emotions and they came through.  Really it started last night when I needed to write about me and my challenges, overcoming them, goals and what I want to achieve from the Symposium. It really is still tough for me think about what I went through with 3 stomach and esophagus surgeries then tumor, brain surgery, car accident and another brain surgery. Then to have my counselor relay to me what the tumor and surgeries have robbed me from, was heart wrenching to me.  I know that I need to continue to understand that I have come so far in my rehabilitation. That I have been so blessed to even be walking and knowing that its a miracle that I am still living.  Okay enough… today's ride I was not remembering my diagonals as well, even the feel.  It was helpful for Marlo to tempo it out in my earpiece that I wear to hear her.  There was even some confusion on the tear drop.  I was so excited for the chance to be on lunge line for a first canter.  My balance was off so I kept going forward.  I am encouraged to know that Ari was taking care of me and so was Marlo.  Yes, I wish it would have gone differently.  However, practice will correct my balancing and sitting tooshi back. It was nice to remember my soccer days and how much I needed to practice dribbling looking up, how I kick, team work, heading the ball, corner kicks, goal kicks, throw the ball in, penalty kicks and kicks that made goals from full back.  It took amazing coaches and determination to get it done!  I am grateful that these memories have been coming back and placed for a reason.  I am suppose to go to the Paralympics and I am suppose to work hard along with my coach and Ari to make this amazing goal happen.    

Journey to Rio

Paralympics

10-16-13

Wow how time is flying.. Wednesday's training was so fun and challenging!  It was my first full day of riding knowing that Ari is my responsibility as his owner.  I used all my new tack to groom him.  It felt so good to just know that I am becoming more independent on my responsibility with him.  A couple of challenges I am working through on tacking Ari.  The putting on and taking off his bridle and cleaning his back hoofs.  Marlo has been awesome in helping with these two challenges.  Putting on Ari's bridle is a challenge for me because of all the steps that occurs in quick session.  I know that repetition and hands on help will be the key in to master this challenge.  I am not sure how yet to master the hoof cleaning on Ari's hind hoofs.  What happens is that I completely get out of breathe and get dizzy.. Weird sensation.. I am not sure why.. His front legs I am good with, it may take a couple pauses to gather strength to complete but it gets done.  He is happy to see me and wants to work.  I like that and I want to work too.  

I watch Marlo warm him up on a lunge line. I got on after and did my exercises while walk with Ari except for the leg stretch to position my V.  Marlo taught trained me on my squares with Ari.  Making sure I didn't move his neck just his body when making a square, its to engage my lower body to move him not using my reins.  I also worked on posting trot to halt. Worked on my posting diagonals, understanding what sides to post on and when to transition onto the other wall.  I am working on feeling this motion so that I do not look.  I get a little off balanced when I look down to see if I am posting correctly or looking at his shoulder to match my down beat.  I am continuing to make this stick so it comes natural.  I love the feel of things that are natural.  I thought a lot about my soccer days again after my ride.  How it came natural as I practiced and had fun with it.  

I need to figure out how to post pictures and videos. Any sugguestions? :-)

Journey to Rio

Paralympics

10/10/13

Wednesday training was a good reminder that practice and patience are a good pair!  I watched Marlo on Ari for a time. I was paying attention to her ability to train and of course how her position was with on the sitting trot.  I got on Ari and went through my exercise routine.  I found that my left side wasn't connecting as well as the right in sensation.  My legs were tense still probably from the drive up.   However I was so excited to be riding.  Marlo's points: sit back and be in the middle of the salad bowl, L shape with my elbow and wrist supple, pushing forward with my fist on a two by four and my thighs like a V esp on transitions and not to grip with my caves or feet.. Ari will go faster lol   I had forgotten some of this and I tilted more forward feeling out of balance. I was grateful for Marlo's insight on continuing to learn to focus on the the positive.  She said I am doing well on my posting trot.  That meant a lot to me knowing when Marlo came and trained me at Courage Reins she was helping me with my trot.  I was trotting like a toilet lid slamming down on the poor horse's back lol.. 

I remember how driven I was when I played soccer. I played for about 10 yrs. I was excellent at it.  Goals from fullback position, our team always in 1st place, I was blessed to be MVP all the time.  I demanded excellence in myself and if I fell short of it I expected myself to practice more to perfect my game and stamina.  I feel the same way in what I am doing here for the Paralympics.  The difference is that I need a visual plan in place to see my progress.  In soccer I didn't know I was getting where I ended up at.  I was quite young.  I train with a plan now.  I am having fun like I was in soccer.  Ari is on my team and I need to treat him as one of the most valuable players besides my trainer, Marlo.  Train, school shows, competition gradually advancing to a higher levels till I am done and pray my scores will qualify me for the Paralympics!  

So much to do and I feel there is little time.  Is that so?  Marlo says that If I put my mind to it I can accomplish anything!  So, then I can do this, go to the Paralympics.  :-)